Trusting Myself

Teach me how to trust my heart, my mind, my intuition, my inner knowing, the senses of my body, the blessings of my spirit, teach me to trust these things so I may enter my sacred space and love beyond my fear. And thus walk in balance with the passing of each glorious sun... -Lakota prayerI happened to see the Lakota prayer I’m posting here in one of my very few 5-minute Facebook breaks this week. It spoke to me because of the way it talks about walking in balance and trusting those inner knowings that are so easily drowned by the hectic pace I’ve been chasing for the past few weeks. So I deliberately did a whole lot of nothing yesterday and enjoyed dinner with friend and her new husband even though I still felt flattened by lack of sleep and bad allergies.

Work is still insane, and likely will remain so for as long as we remain so dramatically understaffed. I’m not sure how many different ways I can push reports up the chain of command that show we’re being asked to produce 500 hours of work with 200 hours of available man power any given week, but I guess we’re taking another stab at it this week. I’m crossing my fingers that this version of our charts and graphs buys us some relief.

I’m also grateful that despite having to put in more evening and weekend hours this week, I still managed to stay on top of my class work, submitting everything on time. I did run  out of time for walking toward the end of the week, so while I managed 5 walks this week totaling 8.25 miles, that was mostly because I walked both at lunch and after dinner on Tuesday and Wednesday. I’ve been missing my walks these past few days–especially since sitting cramped over a computer console feverishly trying to meet all the regulatory change requirements due no later than tomorrow has done nothing good for my neck and back.

I don’t know why I think blogging and fiction writing are more relaxing, when the comparison has to be made that I’m hovering over a keyboard squinting at the monitor in very much the same way.

😀

All of this to say… I’m still exactly where I was last week at 5,752 words. It’s been three weeks since I’ve done any significant work on Red Slaves book 3, and it’s starting to make me twitchy. I was dreaming double agents and twisty mysteries this morning in a way that put me in the mood to expand on what Anne and Ivan are facing… but I was a good girl and supported my boss’ need to work instead.

😛

Maybe tomorrow I’ll have the energy after homework again, since I will be insisting that I leave the office at 5:30, per my regular schedule.

😉

We’re down to the last week of this round so I’m feeling particularly motivated to find that energy, and I’m back to the theme I started with of trusting that I can make that happen. Meantime, check out how the rest of the crew is handling the approaching wire.

Posted on September 16, 2013, in indie, writing and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a Comment.

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