"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -Henry David ThoreauClass started again, for the final time this week. What I had thought would be “merely” a matter of writing a complete business plan for the capstone project turns out to include weekly discussion boards and all kinds of other requirements that have blown up any possibility that I might be able to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. Again. And have meant that I’m now under the gun to figure out work-arounds for the weekend we’re going to pick up the new puppies and the weekend of our niece’s wedding–essentially, having to get those assignments done early.

I spent a few days beyond pissed–and even more so with the nodding “oh, she’s just sick of school” looks I was getting from supportive family. Sure, I am sick of this MBA program. On a deeper level, though, I’m sick of having to deprioritize the things that are important to me for the sake of getting this to-do item ticked off some ephemeral recruiter’s must-have prerequisite list. Don’t get me wrong: I value my day job career. I just don’t feel like the MBA gives me anything more than a piece of paper proving what I already knew all along, and that’s frustrating on profound levels that have everything to do with what’s wrong about the superficiality of assessments in our current society.

Which only proves that Thoreau was a double-edged genius with his quote: “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” I’ve been forcing myself to see that there remain only six more weeks of bloviation, and that there are only three more weeks before we bring home our new furbabies. I can see our progress in getting healthy, and see a future in which I don’t have to let my life be dictated by asinine school requirements.


I can also see that despite the number of things I’m having to do for class, spread out over many days of the week, I do still have more time in a week than I used to. I got to read last night. And you’ll get to see the first of the book reviews I promised for this round, because of that.

We also managed our walk schedule, and completed 4, for 9.6 miles–and one even at the average pace of 16:35 minutes/mile. We’re not doing too badly for all our congestion and coughing.

As in all things, focus remains important. And I find it truly fascinating that biologists are beginning to prove a truth my hubs suspected from very early in his Oriental Medicine training: That human energy does draw from the quantum level, and that there are far more “spooky actions at a distance” involved in basic biology than had previously been acknowledged. It gives me hope that maybe someday alternative medical practices will drive more healing than current western practices do.

So, I’m back to cheerleading others on their fiction-writing, and hoping some of my ROW80 cohorts are making better progress than I. I’ll be checking in again next week, one week closer to many good things, and hoping that gives me sufficient positive energy to keep up with all the things I have to do.

p.s. – We made the release date goal on Frost & Bothered, so for all you UF fans out there… Go pick it up–it’s a great one. 🙂

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2 thoughts on “What I See

  1. It’s so viciously disheartening to be tripping along la la la toward an immediate future of more free time and fewer external pressures, only to have reality morph into something very much not what you’d thought you were tripping toward. Blurgh.

    And I am so very with you on the “superficiality of assessments in our current society.” Blurgh squared.

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