The minute you think you should give up, think of the reason why you held on for so long.I turned in my final. I’m now officially two semesters away from graduating. On December 19. Not that I’m counting down, or anything.


The funny thing is, when I started the accounting class I just completed, I worried that the topic was so alien to me I wouldn’t even be able to pass it. There was, once again, much gnashing of teeth and crushing of papers. In the end, it appears I’ve somehow managed to maintain my straight-A string.

There may be a lesson in this.


My next challenge begins next week, when my university has decided to schedule me for TWO classes in one session (three in one semester)–not something they’ve asked me to do before. But if it means I don’t have to hang on to the crazy schedule school adds to my life beyond December, I will stay the course, and remind myself not to give up, to hold on for just a few more months.

Similarly, it looks like we’ve figured out how to make an August 1 move a reality… barring any crazy financial or health derailments. In the process, I read two articles in the past week that relate to the difference between easy and authentic. Charles Bukowski may be a polarizing figure, but his collection of quotes about living a kick-ass life spoke to me. Then there was the piece by Elle Luna about living the difference between should and must. Between these two sets of words, I’ve reinforced the sense that my life is best when I’m with my husband and my girls–it is the must that drives my happiness. And yet, without pain (i.e. the separations we’ll continue to endure for a few more months), we won’t appreciate the happiness of having pursued this challenging path.

There is that in me that is happy to have nourished a career of interesting positions–even though it’s never been easy or obvious. I get to write and edit in different contexts, learning a diverse set of perspectives and knowledge from different organizations, both elements of which feed my long-term goal of earning my living writing and editing full-time. The interesting thing this week is that despite being caught in a gut-funk’s claws for a few days, despite my class requirements, and despite the urge to catch up with All The Friends, I still beat my “wish goal” of 1,000 fiction words this week. I even shared several 2+-mile walks with Kyra and the rest of my family.

For the first time this year, I managed to meet ALL my goals. I’m still amazed. I suppose it underlines how important my family is to me–and reflects the rebirth inherent in the season on a deeply personal level. It vindicates the argument for continuing to hold on.

Since I have a week off before my next class assignments start kicking in… I’m going to push myself this week: I would love to manage at least 5,000 words of fiction. As well as squeezing in a white paper draft for the office that should be at least that many words of non-fiction. I may be word-drunk at the end of the week, but since I’ll be at home until this time next week, I need to grab my inspiration from its source.


In the meantime, check out how the other ROW80ers are doing with their goals.

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2 thoughts on “Holding On

  1. This is awesome. Nothing in my life would be near as sweet if I didn’t have my husband and children in my life. <3

    I like your sense of possibility and commitment to a deeper goal. May the words flow, the goals attained pile up, and many happy steps be walked. =)

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