It’s my birthday (or was, until an hour or two ago), and that whole goal of not going crazy from last week… in sad danger of not surviving the week. An intense adventure involving metro trains that were not only behind schedule but also stopping every 50 yards, a mad dash through three terminals toting my work backpack (with laptop) and a suitcase that weighed in at 49.5 pounds according to a late check-in that couldn’t guarantee my suitcase would make my flight, as well as being paged before they shut the airplane doors, all combined to ratchet my stress levels sky-high. The turbulence we flew through ensured my nerves were taut for another day thereafter.
The schedule of work, packing, and cleaning doesn’t give much breathing room for recovery, either. As it happened, hubs had continuing ed classes all weekend, so I’m still in the surreal head space of not feeling entirely home. Top that with the asinine story from Esquire–“In Praise of 42”–and there’s something in the back of my head bleating about being past my own expiration date. Happily for me, I got the last laugh with Jezebel’s fisking of said article, but it does remind me that while my goals seem stupid in the midst of the rush toward their completion, there is ultimately a ticking clock somewhere that means what I don’t finish today… may never get done.
So when I saw this week’s image from the always helpful Zen to Zany folks… It reminded me of last week’s injunction against focusing too long on the bigger picture. I know there are a pile of stories floating around my head waiting their turns to be written. I know there are decisions to be made and actions to be taken. Contrary to the way I’ve written those sentences, I won’t be passive about accomplishing what’s necessary. And despite the desperate airport race on Thursday, I’m still only walking toward my Happy. One dogged step at a time.
At the same time, I’m pondering a completely unrelated article about a particular woman in technology. Shanley Kane seems to provide a useful example of how best to burn bridges–even though, as with the author of the piece, I’m not unsympathetic to her basic argument: That technology is covered in a much “softer” style (i.e. closer relationships between the writers and the tech, and no real muckrakers) that largely represents only the white male POV. As a woman in tech in my day job, I’ve been in quite a few rooms as the only source of estrogen, and, looping back to that birthday issue… haven’t made as much of a career as I might have hoped. Hence the crazy-making MBA thing as a goal.
About those goals… I will celebrate the fact that I managed two walks totaling more than four miles this week once I got home (I didn’t have time to turn on the meter for that airport adventure), and turned in my first week’s schoolwork on time. No words, as suspected, but at least some time with my girleez and hubs to try to relax into the fast-paced current of the next few weeks. Now that I don’t actually have to travel, I may accomplish more this week, but I’m not holding my breath. Until next week, check out my cohorts’ progress on their goals–and wish me luck with my sanity.